4 Questions You Have About Love Languages
Let’s start with the basics. Your love language is the way you prefer to receive love. Understanding your partner’s love language is important in strengthening your communication.
November 20, 2020
“What is your love language?” When I first heard the term, I hopped on google and read everything I could about this mysterious love concept. But even after all that googling, I still had questions. Here are the top four questions about love languages answered.
1. What Are the Five Love Languages? the Love Languages Explained
Let’s start with the basics. Your love language is the way you prefer to receive love.
There are 5 love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.
Words of Affirmation: Someone who prefers words of affirmation values verbal affection. You like hearing “I love you” or compliments. These make you feel appreciated in your relationships.
Acts of Service: Preferring acts of service means you value actions over words. You like it when someone does things to make your life easier, like cooking food or opening the door for you.
Receiving Gifts: The language of wanting people to give you gifts to show they’ve thought about you. They don’t have to be expensive. You want someone to show they’ve put thought and care into getting you something you like.
Quality Time: means wanting someone’s undivided attention. This means spending time together and have meaningful interactions. It can mean eating dinner or watching a movie together.
Physical Touch: is for people who want physical affection. They prefer physical intimacy, like kissing, sex, and holding hands. But only when they’ve given consent!
2. Do We Show and Receive Love the Same Way? Pay Attention to Both
Don’t expect everyone to want to love the same way they show it. Everyone is different. Some people show love the same way they like to receive it, but others show love differently. Maybe you like receiving words of affirmation like hearing “You’re special to me,” but you don’t like saying it. Maybe you prefer to show your partner you love them by kissing them every morning (physical touch).
I love how my boyfriend brings me a glass of water before bed (even though I never drink it) because I love receiving love through acts of service. But I prefer to show love by giving gifts like surprising him with a plant he’ll like. By understanding how I like to receive love, my boyfriend can better understand how to show me he loves me. And by knowing how I express my love, my boyfriend knows that even though I may not say “I love you,” I show it in my own way.
3. What Do You Do if Your Partner Shows Love Different From You? Understand Each Other’s Needs
While my boyfriend appreciates my gifts, he doesn’t exactly feel loved when I give him plants. His love language is physical touch, so he feels most loved when I hug him and play with his hair. I have to keep this in mind when communicating my love and affection.
If your love language is different from your partner, you both may struggle to feel loved. Talk to your partner about what makes you feel loved. Also, notice how they naturally show “I love you.”
Talk to them about their love language. Maybe their love language is quality time. If so, you should give your partner the quality time they need, even if that’s not how you naturally show love. Communicating love goes both ways.
4. How Do I Figure Out My Love Language? What Questions to Ask Yourself
Figuring out your love language can be confusing. We love receiving love in multiple ways! But most people have a primary love language. Here are some good questions to ask yourself:
What do I love getting the most from my partner?
What do I never get tired of receiving?
Out of the five love languages, which ones do I not like to receive?
If you still are unsure, go to Discover Your Love Language to take a quiz!
Show Your Love
Understanding your partner’s love language is important in strengthening your communication. Make sure to talk to your significant other about how you like to receive love and how they like to receive love. Then work together to make sure you are both showing or saying what the other needs.
With the love languages explained and your questions answered, it’s time to spread your new knowledge and love (in whatever language)!
Head to the Warriors group-chat to share your love language results and talk to other girls about how they love.