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How to Keep Your Long-Distance Relationship Afloat

Whether it’s 30 minutes away or across the world, long-distance is long-distance. Having the skills to keep that relationship going is hard. But, my relationship is living proof that long-distance is possible.

Alexis Carey

November 20, 2020

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Are you and your significant other approaching or already in a long-distance relationship? Whether it’s 30 minutes away or across the world, long-distance is long-distance. Having the skills to keep that relationship going is hard. But, my relationship is living proof that long-distance is possible.


What May Seem Like ‘Couple Goals’ May Not Be That Easy:

 

My boyfriend and I started dating in high school through our best friends. Then college came, and everything changed. I always knew that I wanted to stay with him through college, and I trusted that he wanted the same. But, I had to go through a mental shift to really change my perspective for this adult relationship to work.


Other People Always Have Something to Say.


There were so many people along the way who loved to insert their opinion about our relationship. They would say things like: 


  • “Long-distance relationships never work out”
  • “You shouldn’t hold each other back”
  • “He’ll find someone prettier than you (shoutout to my high school gym teacher!)”


I Found a Way to Tune It All Out.


I also tried putting my fate in the hands of Google. I read all sorts of articles about long-distance, but I found it told me information that I already knew. I was already prepared without even knowing. 

 

The first time we did long-distance was definitely hard. There’s no preparation for it; you are just dropped in it while life watches you either sink or swim. We’ve swum now for 5 years!


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Okay, Enough With Storytime. What Tips Do You Have to Help With Common Long-Distance Problems?

 

I have learned so much about things to do in a long-distance relationship. Now I want to help you. Here are some questions that you might find yourself asking about your relationship (and mine): 

 

Q: How Have You and Your Boyfriend Survived Being in a Long-Distance Relationship for So Long?

 

Communication! We never let issues build up. If we have a serious issue with something, we talk about it. Although every couple bickers once in a while, it’s super important not to dwell on the little things. Getting into big arguments about small things will take so much energy out of both sides.


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Q: How Do You Deal With the Criticism of Others in Your Relationship?

 

It is hard not to overthink a relationship when everyone around you tries to make you doubt it. Try to avoid these people as much as you can. If you can’t avoid it, like me with my high school gym teacher, try not to take their opinion to heart. They are expressing their preference, but it’s not their life!

 

Q: Should I Follow My Significant Other to College?

 

No and no! You should never follow your significant other to college. Being in a healthy relationship means you should take care of yourself. Having a strong sense of independence will help in the long run. Do not compromise anything of what you want, or that will lead to problems later down the road. You should embrace the distance! After all, “Distance means nothing when the person means everything (Warrior Olivia H).”


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Q: What Should I Look Out for That Could Cause Long-Distance Relationship Problems?

 

Trust and control. Trust is key to a long-distance relationship. If one person does not have it, things will go down south real quick. You need to trust that your S/O is faithful to you and only you. You need to trust that nothing else will happen when you are not around. That goes both ways.

 

You also need to be cautious of control within a relationship. It can cause a lot of long-distance relationship problems. Letting someone have too much control over you will not end up well. Common control issues in a long relationship can include:


  • Outfit restrictions
  • Knowing where the person is at all times
  • Control of who the person talks to (especially of the opposite sex)
  • Limiting the social interactions of the S/O


This might be a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

 

Don’t Force Something That Is Not There.

 

There are times that long-distance relationships can come to an end, whether it’s on a good or bad note. As Bebe Rexha said, “If it was meant to be, it will be.” If not, that’s okay. It’s a learning experience for both sides in finding what they want. The best relationships come when you are not trying to find one. For more information about long distance relationships, visit “8 Pieces of Advice that will go a Long Way in a Long Distance Relationship”. 


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